Yes, I realize that I am sticking my head into a lion’s mouth. I understand that this is controversial. But I feel this is a subject I have to address.
There is so much fighting out there about pro-life/pro-choice. It gets ugly. It gets personal. It is a war on women, imposing morality on others, so on and so forth. But if you are pro-choice do you really understand why someone like me is pro-life? Do you think it is because I like kids? Do you think it is because that I think that having kids is something that everyone needs to do?
No. It is because I don’t believe killing a baby. Be it due to duress, inconvenience, inability to provide or anything else. And I believe that for all intents and purposes life begins conception. Babies are born at 22 weeks and go on to become completely healthy, normal children. We know that they are moving in response to their environments before then. So how can we say that isn’t life?
Yes, then comes the whole “what about incest and rape” thing. Well, those who know me well know that I try to be logical. So if I believe life begins at conception it is logical for me to believe that is still a baby. Would it be logical to kill a baby due to someone else’s crime? Not in my opinion.
Stop! Don’t freak. Hear me out. I understand that pregnancy is a result of rape. I am not an idiot like Akin. But, did the baby do anything that it deserves death? No. Yes, the woman didn’t do anything wrong either but I saying that she should carry this child to term. Why should she be asked to suffer? Well, crime is crime because of the victims. Â This is another part of that victimization but it isn’t the child’s fault. I am not asking that woman to raise that child because there is always adoption and she can’t love that child due to the violence that brought about, please place the baby for adoption(often you can choose the adopting parents!). But that isn’t the child’s fault. We don’t allow post birth babies to be killed even when they are used as a reason for a crime committed against someone do we? Like domestic violence where the connection between an abuser and victim that can’t be severed is the child? (And yes, I really believe that. If know someone who is in that situation who needs help finding and actually choosing a home for that unwanted child let me know and I will help.)
So all that said. I value life and I consider pregnancy to be life. I am not asking you to agree with me but to respect that. Can you? Can you go beyond your own values to believe that I actually believe mine? If so don’t ask me to pay for it. I am not talking about outlawing it, just don’t make me pay to help you end what I consider a life. Can you understand that? I am not talking about arresting people or anything like that. I am just asking that my government not use my money for it. And that includes the schools transporting girls to abortion clinics.
Period….
(Post Script: I am not talking about what to do if a mother’s life is in danger. I am not qualified and those situations are unique. That is a medical situation and not always a choice. Just thought I would include that.)
(This may sound odd but I have also written political posts over on LabelDaddy, feel free to check those out as well. They sponsored a political post. The subject was my choice and my opinions alone.  But these are my views and not necessarily LabelDaddy’s views)
Well said. And said with compassion.
Tough subject to write about, but well done. I think those that are pro-choice or those that even are not truly sure which way they fall – they want the same. For others to respect that they have their own opinion, to respect that they also have their own values that they stand by.
Curious as to how you feel about government funding for “unwanted babies” who become wards of the state. Why should the pro-choice people have the burden of the government using their money for those babies? I know there are plenty of people who want babies, but we all know that many kids are stuck in the system.
If a baby is brought into the world from a rape I really think it is crucial that whomever is going to raise the child to receive professional services for themselves and advice on how to be honest with the child. Sadly in cases like this the crime does not end at the time on conception, the time of birth, or even the time of adoption. It remains the history of that child forever.
I used to have the same perspective, whole-heartedly. And I agree with most of what you are saying. However, something happened to me that led me to be pro-choice, or at least pro-choice in certain circumstances (which, yes, I realize this is a moral inconsistency).
Last year, I was pregnant with a very much wanted child. However, at my 9 week ultrasound, it was discovered that there was something very wrong with my child and he/she would likely not make it. A couple days later, a faint heartbeat was found, though it was very slow and the baby’s development was stunted severely, even for a 9 weeker. The doctor explained if the baby could survive, there would like be major issues, and that if the heart continued to beat, which he thought it might not — we’d need to make a decision as to how we wanted to proceed.
Prior to having my son Keegan, I would have said, “no question — we continue no matter what.” But, as the parent of another young child, who will need my attention, time, energy and financial resources — I found myself having to re-ask the question: “What should we do?”
Thankfully, the decision was not left to us, as our child’s heart stopped beating a couple days later and I later miscarried. Though I loved my baby, my love for my unborn baby and my love for my son, who is my world, and has been for 5 years… they’re different loves.
Robin, is it totally callous for me to say that if my money has to pay for serial murderers that the same people don’t want to execute than their money can pay for babies;). No, seriously. There are people with open arms who would willingly adopt their babies. and I believe that society should help take care/fund these things. Not the government.
Natali,
I also suffered a miscarriage and had 3 little ones (the youngest was less than a year old) at the time. It killed me when people said that was probably better than the baby having problems…. Ok, this might sound harsh and I am sorry. You know I love you and my heart broke when you miscarried…. But A)doctors can be wrong. Nothing is certain about a pregnancy’s outcome until that baby is born!. B)My philosophy is that baby I was pregnant with and lost was already my child. If one of my children developed a medical problem that would leave them in pain, take my time and my money at 6 months old or a year old it wouldn’t be acceptable to put them out of their misery. Even at a month old.
And again I say that nothing is sure in a pregnancy. I have talked to more than 1 person who was told some promised or guaranteed out come that was horrible but never came to pass. I also know people who had perfect pregnancies only to have shocking sorrow at delivery. And as a woman with faith you have to know that God wouldn’t ask something like that of you if you couldn’t handle it.
Hey NerdMom,
There is a local church (and I think a movement) that is doing what the Bible tells them to: The families at the church are getting together and ADOPTING ALL OF THE KIDS IN FOSTER CARE!!!! They’re attempting to reduce the kids on foster care to ZERO!!
If every Pro-Life group would do that, do you think it would change a scared woman’s view that their unneeded baby would be taken care of?
It’s an idea.
Kevin
Wow! I would love details on that Kevin. That is awesome!!!
Here’s the church that is doing it:
http://robertgelinas.org/2012/02/06/adoption-adovocate/
Fair question: Do you think your government should use your money to pay for a military that kills thousands of civilians (including children)?
Amen sister. I agree and praise God you spoke out.
Here’s my issue with your argument — it is your opinion that life begins at conception. THe problem is that not everyone believes that. (And that goes for the God comments too).
Also, as a person who fought off her rapist for 6 hours so didn’t get raped, an unwanted pregnancy revictimizes the victim (unless that is the choice she makes).
Here’s the thing — you want these babies alive. However, there is no social services funding for these kids. You can’t have it both ways. If you want (*you in a general sense no you specifically) it both ways, you have to pay for it. Like Kevin said, start fighting for those kids in foster care before you add more kids to that.
Lisa, I didn’t say this was everyone’s belief but mine. I said that I believe that life begins at conception. I can give you evidence for it but that wasn’t the point. The point is that I believe it is life so don’t expect me to have exceptions to that stance based on circumstances.
I commend you for your valiant fight! That took a strength that is amazing. But I know that the victim suffers if she is pregnant from rape. I never denied that at all. But (since I believe that the baby is alive) should another person pay that price with their life? That is why I don’t believe in that exception.
As far as social services and the like. I meant when I said if there was someone in that situation that I would get them help. There are books of people who would love to adopt a baby but that isn’t the point. But that isn’t the point either. We don’t have money or space for the kids in foster care. They are young, I mean are they really even living a life? Would it be reasonable to just kill them? No, of course not. Some societies have done that and we in the West don’t approve.
Since I believe it is a life it is the same argument for me. And that is who I am speaking for.
Great post and I think it’s awesome you are standing up for what you believe in.
Well put. I often think that our society has lost the ability to reason. This is a prime example: do prochoicers ever stop to think what a prolifer is really driven by, from the prolifer’s perspective? If they can at least understand what we believe (even if they can’t believe it — yet! 🙂 ), then it makes all the sense in the world that we keep going on about this and praying at Planned Parenthood, etc. I do this! Even though I disagree with them, I think and understand that _most_ of them are sincerely concerned about women and sincerely don’t think abortion takes an innocent life. There is a place for emotion, but we need reason to control emotion, and we need to practice what we preach, such as supporting/volunteering at a pregnancy center, as I did for many years before becoming temporarily absorbed in my own family of little ones.
Very well put NerdMom. : )
Both sides of this argument should love each other more.
“And I believe that for all intensive purposes life begins…”
What you meant to say there was “for all intents and purposes”
After that I am afraid that I quit reading. If you can’t sort out common phrases I don’t feel compelled to try to follow your line of reasoning.
Thank you for alerting me to the typo. Like most people I have always heard it one way and have to be intentional to catch it in order to write it properly…
“Like most people I have always heard it one way and have be intentional to catch it in order to write it properly…”
Okay, I don’t mean to be a pedantic prick here, but that doesn’t mean anything. “Have be intentional”???
Perhaps you should consider another line of work. Stringing together words in English doesn’t appear to be your forte.
i was able to follow much of your reasoning. but when you wrote of rape victims:
“Why should she be asked to suffer? Well, crime is crime because of the victims.”
you lost me completely. isn’t having been raped, suffering enough? the logic you use sounds like if the rape victim somehow suffered less, then the rape wasn’t really a crime.
the main difference i see between pro-choice and pro-life, is that pro-choice does not force the decision (and the consequences) on anyone else; pro-life does.
“and have be intentional ”
I see that you edited to make it “have to be intentional”. That doesn’t work either. You are not comprehending the meaning of the word “intentional”. You might mean “intent”, or “alert”, or “aware”, or a myriad of other formulations, but you don’t mean “intentional”.
Well said! As a rape victim, that didn’t end in pregnancy and 2 years later a single woman with an unplanned pregnancy, who considered abortion at the time but instead carried my daughter to full term. I agree that life begins at conception and no matter how the conception happened ie rape, incest, consenting partners, the child isn’t at fault and should not be murdered. My daughter died due to complications during delivery but thanks to my walking through that unplanned pregnancy I have a ministry to other young women who have unplanned pregnancies.
As pro-lifers we need to push for more streamlined adoption processes for US adoptions, especially where Foster care is involved. We don’t need more social services we need processes and programs where churches and individuals can get involved without miles of red tape and love on the children who need homes of their own.